Your Song
by JC Maxwell-Yuy
Summary: *UPDATED!* Love that carries over time... Van finally has worked up the courage to tell the one he loves exactly how he feels. However, that person is haunted by events of the past. (VanxIrvine)
1. Love of My Life

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Your Song

Part 1

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~ Love of My Life ~

By: JC Maxwell-Yuy

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JC: Konichiwa!

Van: Yo!

Moonbay: You have done this before, haven't you?  
JC: Nope! This is my first Zoids fic! Yay!

Irvine: How scary is that?

JC: It is. I'm trying my very best to make… … whatever it is I'm trying to make. 

Moonbay: You're trying to throw Van and Irvine into the same bed. 

Van: I always knew you were a cradle robber! 

Irvine: (blushes) I have no idea what you're talking about… or why my face is red. 

JC: Uwwaaaaa!!!(does an embarrassed dance) I'm so shameless.

Irvine: And a loon to boot.

JC: (glares)

Irvine: Oops… 

JC: Another remark like that and you won't get any for a week!

Van: That's harsh.

JC: You too!

Van: (swallows hard) Eep.

JC: Moonbay, it's your turn.

Moonbay: JC doesn't own Zoids, it's characters, in other words NOTHING! That's a good thing.

Thomas: Just for the record, Fine is Fiona.

JC: One more word and your going back to that guy with the freaky music.

Moonbay: OK. I don't want to get married and become tone-deaf so here's our story for today!

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The two moons of planet Zi illuminated the desert sands. The pale glow of the ever shifting grains reflected off Van's eyes. The young man shifted from one foot to the other as he stared up at the sea of stars, all burning brightly in the night sky. 

"Van, dinner's ready." Fine called from where she had set up a small campfire. A pot of canned soup sat simmering over the fire. 

"Coming!" Van snapped out of his reverie and bounded toward the fire. 

"I must have called at least 5 times. What were you thinking about?" Fine giggled as she handed Van a cup of the steaming liquid. 

"Aw… nothing much. Just… the usual." Van said.

"Irvine, huh?" Fine leaned back and sipped her soup.

"Yeah." Van stared at the milky liquid swirling in the mug. 

It had been way back in the beginning. Back when Irvine was still trying to steal Zeke for himself. Way back at the beginning… One night, Irvine had lost his patience with Van and more or less robbed the young boy of his virginity. Van had been wary of the older boy, but then they'd become great friends. Now, he wished it were more than just friendship. 

"It's been a while since we last saw him." Fine commented. "The next time… are you going to tell him?"

"I… don't know." Van replied. "I was going to the last time, but due to the situation… and I just basically… lost my nerve." 

"Lost your nerve?" Fine laughed.

"Not funny." Van groaned. 

"That's so like … Thomas." Fine smiled. "It's almost kind of cute."

"How can you compare me to that guy?" Van cried and buried his head in his hands. 

"Well… all your attempts to tell Irvine your feelings… did turn out like Thomas'… er… " The girl struggled for the word. "Desperate obsessions… …"

"Desperate obsessions?" Van raised an eyebrow. "That's clearly and understatement."

"Well, anyways…" Fine blushed. "That's not the point. The point is that you miss every chance to tell your feelings… whereas Thomas… blows everything out of proportion, yet still gets the desired effect through."

"So why aren't you two together?" Van asked slyly.

"Well, a girl's got to play hard to get." Fine laughed.

"Hard to get? More like torture for the poor guy." Van muttered. 

"In any case, just tell him exactly how you feel." The blonde girl smiled warmly. "He'll understand, whether he can return your feelings or not."

"You're right! Next time, I'll tell him, surely!" Van jumped up and shouted, forgetting about the hot soup in the mug, which spilled all over his pants.

"IIITTAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!"

_"Irvine…"_

Hands roamed his body, exploring, needing…

"Please… " 

A larger muscular body pressed tightly against his form, smothering him with a scent he never could get tired of breathing in. 

"I…"

Burning pleasure… indescribable feeling…

"love…"

"IRVINE!" Van's body shook beneath the sheets. The boy's eyes flashed open, but regretted it. It had been just another dream. The sleeping bag was now sticky and wet. 

"…" Van stared at the traces of his dream's pleasure on his pants, and then sank back down on the now soiled sleeping bag. 

"Rrre?" Zeke opened one red eye.

"It's all right Zeke. Go back to sleep." Van assured the organoid, but the silver being stared at its friend's sad expression, but powerless to make Van's wish for Irvine's love to come true. 

Burning desert sands… explosions… heat pulsing in every possible direction. The Blade Liger burst through the cloud of sand kicked up by gunfire. Somebody had reprogrammed some sleeper zoids into attacking any moving object on the desert road. 

"FINE! Are you OK?!" A voice screeched over the communication link.

"Yes Thomas, I'm fine." Fine replied and winced as another barrage of gunfire rocked the Liger. 

"HOW DARE YOU ATTACK FINE, YOU SCUM!" Thomas roared and fired an angry barrage of energy. His fire was returned, and the Dibision's command system froze.

"Don't be so reckless!" Fine admonished both pilots before clutching her harness as the Liger was knocked aside. 

"I'll second that." Another voice echoed over the com-link.

"Irvine?" Van's hands on the controls froze as the remaining enemy zoids were knocked out. The Command Wolf bounded over to the Blade Liger and the now out of commission Dibision with Moonbay's Gustav in tow.

"HEY FINE!" Moonbay jumped out of the Gustav and ran over to hug the blonde girl. 

"Guess I need a tow." Thomas muttered apologetically.

"I'm a…" Moonbay started.

"Transporter of the wasteland." Irvine and Fine finished for her before everyone laughed. 

Van just watched Irvine's smile. The older man noticed Van and held up a hand in greeting. Van felt his cheeks flush. 

Later…

"Lovely. Just lovely." Thomas muttered as he watched his zoid being repaired in a small town repair shop. 

"The repairman said it'll take a day or so." Fine said.

"The good news is the Guardian Force sent us orders to take a short vacation while the Dibision's in the shop so…" Van started.

"So I guess that means you guys have some free time." Moonbay finished. 

"It'll be fun. We haven't all been together for a while." Fine exclaimed and tugged Van's sleeve.

"Even if it's only for a day or so." Van muttered. 

"Well, let's just find a hotel." Thomas started walking ahead.

"Thomas?" Van called.

"WHAT VAN?!"

"The hotels are in the other direction." 

"DDDAAARRGHHH!!!"

The hotel…was more like an inn. 

"Well, this is all we could afford." Moonbay sighed.

"So Van, now's the perfect chance to tell Irvine." Fine whispered.

"In this dump?" Van exclaimed.

"SHHHHH!!!" Fine clamped one hand over Van's mouth and dragged him off to a secluded corner. 

"Here's the plan. I'll room with Moonbay for obvious reasons and then con Thomas into rooming with Zeke." The Zoidian hissed.

"But… me… with …" Van's face turned bright red. 

"Oh, suck it up." Fine groaned and dragged Van back to the others. 

"I don't want to think about what you two were doing." Moonbay said.

"NOOO!!" Horror crossed Thomas' face as visions of Van and Fine making out in a secluded corner of a cheap hotel flooded his disillusioned brain. 

"What's with him?" Irvine stared at the whimpering and now hunched on the floor Thomas.

"Love pains." Moonbay shook her head. She didn't notice the sad look that crossed Irvine's face through the whole episode. 

"Well, I have room keys!" Fine shouted from the check in desk.

"Moonbay, you're with me. Thomas, be a dear and watch Zeke." Fine smiled sweetly at Thomas, who quickly removed himself from his sob-puddle on the floor with a thousand-watt smile on his face.

"Anything for you Fine!" Thomas cried as Zeke wandered over to him and accidentally stepped on the man's foot.

"And that leaves Van with Irvine." Fine tossed the last key to Van and dragged Moonbay and Thomas upstairs with the other two keys before the two men could protest. 

"RRWRRR?" Zeke followed Thomas in confusion up the stairs. 

"What was that?" Irvine asked.

"Guess she wanted to have a 'girl talk' or something." Van quickly covered up.

"Oh." The bounty hunter muttered and followed Van up the stairs.

"You know, for a run-down looking place, the bathroom's pretty nice. Even has a hot tub." Van shouted as he explored their small, but tastefully decorated room.

"Uhm hm." Irvine replied absently. 

"If you don't mind, I'm going first!" 

"Sure. Whatever you want." Irvine sighed as the bathroom door clicked shut. The man lay down on the king-size bed to sleep. His slumber wasn't a pleasant one. 

****

To Be Continued_


	2. Todokanu Omoi

Your Song

Part 2

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~ Todokanu Omoi ~

By: JC Maxwell-Yuy

~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^

JC: And we're back!

Moonbay: Our mission remains the same: to multiply the Irvine x Van fanfics out there tenfold! 

JC: Well, that would be nice. (and to own all those lovely yaoi doujinshi but…)

Thomas: We'll just take it one step at a time.

JC: Yup. Starting with disclaimer, I don't own Zoids and I never will. Wish I did though. 

Van: Well? Am I going to get lucky or not?  
JC: Hm… I think I'd rather have Irvine walk around naked rather than you since his …

Irvine: (covers JC's mouth) AHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahah… what a big mouth.

Van: What a man… 

Fine: Well, see you on the battlefield… of… er… love!

^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~

_'Van…'_

'No! Stop! Irvine!' 

'What I did…'

'Please… no more! Let go!'

'… is unforgivable.'

'IRVINE!'

Irvine's eyes snapped open. He angrily narrowed his eyes at the bulge in his pants. 

The reoccurring dream of that time… the time when he'd raped Van. The time he'd abused the person he loved the most. He silently cursed his bad temper for what seemed like the billionth time, realizing all to well that nothing he said, thought, or did would erase what he had done. 

_'I'll never touch him again. I don't deserve to.'_ The promise he'd made to himself. The dream sickened him, but every time he had it, it always left him horribly aroused.

Irvine shifted on the bed just in time to hide his erection from Van, who entered the room having finished his bath. 

"Did I wake you up?" Van asked. 

"Nope. I think I'll go use that tub now." Irvine slowly turned to get up, his 'problem' somewhat gone only to have it come back full force.

"Hold on a second though…" The GF lieutenant said nervously.

Irvine's jaw nearly dropped as his gaze fell on Van, who was clad in only a skimpy white towel riding dangerously low on the hips. Van's muscular upper body glistened with moisture from his bath, and his hair was undone and damp. He smelled nice too… like papaya and melon. 

"What?" The older man muttered, slightly irritated and red-faced. 

"I need to talk to you… about something." Van took a step forward towards the bed, the towel practically falling off, but it didn't. 

"It's just that… well, we've known each other for a long time… and… we've had a lot of adventures together…"

__

'Van… what are you saying?'

"Well, everyone… you guys are like my family now. But you, Irvine…"

__

'I'm a sicko. I hurt you. How can you compare me to 'family'?'

"You're my most precious friend… I…"

__

'Please don't say it. Don't… '

"I… I love you!" Van blurted out. Without thinking, the boy threw himself at Irvine, burying his face in the man's chest. 

"Van…" Irvine whispered, breathing in the younger boy's sweet scent.

__

'I don't deserve your love.'

"AAAHACK!!" Van shouted as Irvine roughly pushed him away.

"What's the big idea?" the teen protested as Irvine got off the bed and headed for the door. 

Irvine took a deep breath… and said the four words that he'd hoped never to say.

"I don't love you. You couldn't be farther from what I feel for you."

"That's… that's a lie…" Horror crossed Van's face. 

"It's not a lie Van. I don't and never will love you." Irvine said flatly. "Whatever led you to believe so… you were mistaken."

"…" Van remained silent. Irvine wished he could take back his words but once again, it was too late. The damage had been done. Twice, he had hurt his loved one… though this time, burning tears began to leak out of his eyes. Irvine left the room and shut the door behind him. 

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'I love you to Van… but I just can't… I just can't let myself be happy.' 

To Be Continued…


	3. Innocent Mujaki na Mama de

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Your Song

Part 3

~ Innocent - Mujaki na Mama de - ~

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

JC: Part three. Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I love you all! 

Van: I'm ready to have a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!

Irvine: Why am I being so cruel to my precious Van?

Raven: Yeah! That's my department… heh heh heh… torturing poor little helpless Van. Naked and tied up and… (gets knocked away by JC)

Van: I'm scccaaaaarrrreeeddddd!!! (buries face in Irvine's… … lower regions)  
JC: …

Irvine: (happy sigh)  
Herman: OK… while the happy people are… busy. I'll do the disclaimer. JC doesn't own Zoids. I think I'll go bathe now. (starts undressing)  
JC: 0_0

O'Connel: HHEEEERRRRRRMMMAAAAANNNNN!!! (chases Herman over the horizon) TAKE OFF THE SHIRT! TAKE IT ALL OFF BABY!

JC: One look at that six pack…

Moonbay: And … WAIT FOR ME! (joins the chase)  
Irvine: Isn't this story about us?  
JC: Oh, right! Mobilize!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Van slumped against the wall. That did not go as planned. Although… planning was now the least of his worries. 

"Hey Van, Irvine! Open up!" Thomas knocked on the door and fell through on the second knock since the door never locked when Irvine stormed out. The blonde was surprised when he saw the emotionless look on his friend's face.

"Thomas! Didn't you tell Van and Irvine about dinner..?" Fine trailed off when she peered into the room. 

"Van? Where's Irvine?" the two looked at the half-naked man just staring into space.

"Excuse me, Fine… but er…" Thomas gently ushered Fine out. "Guy talk."

"Van, what's the matter with you?" When Van didn't respond, Thomas began his relentless tickle assault. 

"Wah… AHAHAHahahahAHAHa…" Van struggled, but Thomas failed to bring the other boy back to his normal self. 

"Van, we're going out to dinner." Thomas said. Van didn't move.

"OK, but it's going to be really good." Van still didn't move.

"All right, we're going to leave without you." No response.

"I heard that there's a lot of papaya dishes at the restaurant we're going to." Thomas sighed and turned to leave. When he turned to shut the door, Van was slowly getting dressed. 

"All right Van. Five minutes. If you're not downstairs in five, I'm eating all the papayas!" Thomas announced before exiting. He shut the door and turned to face Fine.

"Is he all right?" The girl asked, worried. 

"I think something happened… And where is that Irvine guy anyway?" Thomas shook his head. 

"…" Fine rubbed her temples. She was concerned now. Van definitely confessed to Irvine, and judging by the look on her best friend's face, Irvine had not taken it well. 

Soon, Van emerged from the room, his eyes slightly red and his spirits low. Dinner was silent, and uncomfortable. Moonbay and Thomas tried to cheer everyone up… Thomas, though, more on the unintentional side as he spilled spaghetti sauce on his pants, knocked a waiter carrying water over by getting out of his chair, and finally slipping on some of the water and falling face first into the papaya and custard pie a couple was sharing on the next table. 

Fine and Moonbay were practically falling out of their chairs, but Van didn't even crack a smile. The whole time, he poked miserably at his plate, and hardly ate a thing. Even the papaya ice cream sundae, which was left practically untouched. 

When they finally returned to the hotel, Thomas went straight to his room to take a bath, while Moonbay followed suit in her room. Fine was really concerned for Van, however, the pilot wouldn't talk to her, or anyone. She had a good urge to kick him, but then realized that if Van didn't want to talk about it, Van didn't want to talk about it. In the end, she decided to give Van his space and retired to the room she shared with Moonbay, but not before wishing Van goodnight. 

Van stayed in the small lobby for a while, just staring at the wall. Soon, his eyelids grew heavy and he slowly trudged upstairs towards his room. He pretty much convinced himself that if Irvine was in, he'd at least apologize and leave. If not, then well, the bed was his… however…

As he opened the door, moans came from behind it. However, Van didn't really think much of it until he entered the room and found Irvine in bed with somebody. A young boy. Both of them naked… and… 

Van's vision swirled. His fist clenched tight with anger, but he held it. The two didn't seem to notice him as he stood there watching them, seething until he finally turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him. 

'I hate him. I hate him. I HATE HIM!' Jealousy, pain, sadness… every painful and hated emotion poured into Van's heart as he slumped against Thomas and Zeke's door… and fell into the room.

"Rrr?" Zeke looked up in surprise as his owner fell into the room and landed face-first on the floor.

"What's the matter Zeke?" Thomas asked, leaving the bathroom with his toothbrush halfway in his mouth. 

"Rrewwrr." Zeke muttered as he helped Van to his feet. 

"Something the matter?" Thomas asked, but when he looked closer and saw the suffering look and state Van was in, the toothbrush fell out of his mouth. 

"I… hate… that… slut… that MORON!" Van whispered. 

"RRRRRWWRR!" Zeke backed away in alarm as Van clenched his fist so hard blood started dripping from his hands. 

"Van!" Thomas reached for the injured hand, only to have his hand slapped away. 

"RRRRAARRR!!!" Zeke came up from behind and restrained Van.

"LET GO ZEKE!" Van protested and thrashed.

"Good job! Keep him steady while I get the first aid." Thomas disappeared into the bathroom and returned with the first aid kit. Soon, a grumpy, but still very emotional Van was bandaged up, and tranquilized into a peaceful slumber.

"The things I do for this kid." The blonde sighed as he rubbed his bruises that Van gave him for trying to bandage the wound. If Zeke wasn't there to help hold him down, he didn't know what he was going to do. 

"You two can have the bed. I'll sleep on the floor." He said as he grabbed a pillow and blanket and lay on the floor, muttering something about whether sleeping on the ground was really good for a person or not. 

Zeke lay near Van, listening to his friend's heartbeat. However, he sensed something was terribly wrong. Van wasn't resting comfortably. Zeke could feel Van's pain; and wanted to ease it. Without a sound, Zeke's chest plate opened and wires and cords wrapped themselves around Van and pulled the boy in. 

__

Van shielded his eye from the glaring sunlight. 

'How long have I been sleeping?' He wondered as he shifted on the grass. 

'Wait a minute… grass? And a soft breeze?' Van sat up, confused as he took in his peaceful surroundings. He was under a tree in the middle of a grassy field. A gentle breath of wind rolled over the green, sweet smelling grass. 

"Van."

Van didn't recognize the voice or the boy it belonged to when he turned around. The kid was roughly his height, blonde hair, and had piercing red eyes. 

"Who… who are you?" 

"Silly Van. It's me, Zeke."

****

To Be Continued 


	4. Dream Lover Come Rescue Me!

**__**

Your Song

Part 4

~ Dream Lover (Come and Rescue Me!) ~

JC: Whoo hoo! Thanks again to the people who reviewed! You all are what keep this story moving along!

Van: Well then START MAKING THIS STORY MOVE TOWARDS HAPPY-HAPPY! I DON'T NEED ANY MORE ANGST!

JC: But… but…

Irvine: Van's right! I WANT HAPPY-HAPPY VAN NOW!

JC: Geez! All in good time. How about now? A more 'lighthearted' chapter.

Irvine: Finally!

JC: So whose turn is it to do the disclaimer?

Viola: Well, since none of the MEN want to do it, I will. JC doesn't own Zoids. There! Catch ya later! (blows a kiss and flies off into the sunset)

JC: She is so cool! I should add her in somewhere. Maybe in my next story. 

Van: Meanwhile, can we get back to US?

Irvine: Yeah!

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"Zeke?" Van whispered in surprise. 

"Yes Van. I'm Zeke." The blonde repeated.

"But… but… you're human!" Van stammered.

Zeke shrugged. "Does it make a difference whether I look like a human or an organoid?"

"No! No, not at all!" Van said quickly before it kicked in. "Hey! Now I can really understand you!" 

Zeke laughed. But then his expression grew sad.

"What's wrong buddy?" Van asked, seeing the change in his friend's attitude.

"I… I just don't want you to hurt anymore Van." Zeke whispered, a tear falling down his cheek. 

"Irvine hurt you real bad. You can't hide anything from me, you know." 

"It was really obvious I liked him, huh?" Van muttered.

"I don't understand though! All he does is hurt you! Van!" Zeke grabbed Van and shook him in frustration. 

"Zeke…" Van murmured. "But I can't change the way I feel about him. He's been there for me a lot too, remember?"

"Well… if that's the way you feel, I won't stop you from loving that moron who keeps trying to kidnap me. Not sure I can, either." Zeke sniffed. 

"Thanks Zeke. You're the best." Van smiled.

"Whatcha two talking about?" A voice sounded from behind Van. Irvine stepped out from behind the tree.

"Hey Irvine. You won't believe this! Zeke is human!" Van started but when he turned back to look at Zeke, the silver organoid looked at him with a confused grunt. 

"I think you've been napping too long Van." Irvine laughed. 

"Uh huh." Van said, feeling uncomfortable as Irvine moved in closer and wrapped two strong arms around his waist.

"What are you doing?"  


"What? Is it a crime to hold my boyfriend?" Irvine raised an eyebrow. 

"Boy…friend…?" Van resisted the urge to pass out.

"Would you prefer 'lover'?" Irvine purred.

"You… you're not joking, are you?" Van said quietly.

"Now why would I joke about something like this?" The older man replied and brushed his lips against Van's forehead.

Van felt his face turn bright red. He turned and followed Irvine and Zeke back to the small house at the edge of the field. He wasn't about to complain. It was as if his dream had come true. 

"I can't believe you slept the whole morning!" Irvine ruffed Van's hair playfully. 

"I did?" Van muttered, surprised. 

"Come on Van, what? Did you forget something?" Irvine asked.

"No… it's just… I thought I was… someplace else when I went to sleep." Van explained.

"Great. The next thing you're going to tell me is that you've forgotten all about our anniversary." The older man laughed. 

"Our WHAT?" Van's jaw dropped.

"Kidding. Geez, what's gotten in to you?" 

"Oh… nothing." Van murmured. 

"Humph. Well, I hope you're hungry since we're having papayas and sandwiches for lunch." Irvine grinned. 

"WHOO HOO!" 

And so, the days passed. Although Van didn't exactly remember how he wound up in this situation, it never bothered him. Not much, but something would always bug him. 

"Van…"  


It seemed like everything he wanted was here. The wind was nice, there was an adventure each day. Each day with Irvine…

"Are you happy?"

Van didn't complain about anything. He was very happy with the sleeping arrangements, which was him and Irvine in the same bed, naked… together… every night... Or the food, which seemed to be all his favorites every day. However, something seemed out of place… Something wasn't right… But the answer to Irvine's daily question was…

"Yes." 

****

To Be Continued 

(Preview music: Wild Flowers Instrumental)

Fine: Hi! Fine here! Hey Van, what dimension did you fall into? 

Van: I've no idea, but I like it. Where'd this preview come from anyway? There wasn't one in the last chapter. 

JC: I decided to put one in. I got hooked on the BGM. 

Fine: When things seem too good to be true, they probably are.

Van: What? Is this a dream?  
Fine: Next time on ZOIDS, Midnight Illusion. See you on the battlefield! (waves)


	5. Midnight Illusion

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Your Song

Part 5

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~ Midnight Illusion ~

By: JC Maxwell-Yuy

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ 

JC: Ah, yes… I am receiving the waves. 

Van: This means another angsty chapter, doesn't it?  
JC: Yes… YES, IT DOES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Irvine: And in the end, I will be hated.

JC: Unfortunately. 

Van: (hugs Irvine) I still love you.

Irvine: (happy sigh)  
JC: Oh yes, someone liked my idea of a human Zeke. I personally didn't think it'd go over too well, but it did. Thanks Night! Now after you read this chapter, go read Night's story, 'Kidnapped'. Much thanks, I'm glad people like my ideas. And muchos gracias to all the loyal reviewers! 

Van: Now, if you're done with promotions… wait, I take it back! Promote me back to reality and right into Irvine's bed! NOW!

JC: Can't do that… not yet… anyway. (grins evilly)

\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\// 

Irvine woke up with the planet's most massive migraine that morning. He shifted in the sheets, stained with dried semen. The prostitute was gone.

_'Damn…'_ Irvine groaned as he struggled to get out of the bed. His head was pounding, and he felt the strong urge to puke. Correction, he was going to puke. 

_'He was there… Van saw me… like…'_ His head swam after he'd emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Desperately, fingers groped through his things, searching for aspirin. 

_'He probably hates me… good… now…'_ Irvine was about to swallow a pill when Fine burst into the room screaming, took one look at his naked state, and covered her eyes and began screaming again. 

"OH SHUT UP!" Irvine yelled and rubbed his temples. 

"VAN'S IN THE HOSPITAL!" Fine yelled back.

"S… What did you say?" Surprise, shock, irritation, anger, concern, and pain… Irvine collapsed. 

Later…

"He's waking up." Moonbay announced. 

"My… aching head…" Irvine moaned as bright lights glared at his tired eyes from the boring white ceiling. 

"Well, maybe the next time you're debating whether to get wasted, you'll remember that gorgeous, pulsing pain in your cranium." Moonbay glared. 

"Ughn… What… what about Van?" The man shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"In a coma." Moonbay replied.

Later…

"I am SO sorry!" Thomas bowed his head before Fine for what seemed to her the thousandth and twenty-fifth time.

"It's OK, Thomas. It's not like you knew that Van was allergic to the sedative you gave him." Fine soothed as she watched over Van, who appeared to be sleeping.

"Why is that drug even authorized to be in the GF medical kit? It's a hallucinogen as well as a sedative!" The blonde man struck his fist against the wall in frustration. "I'm a total idiot!"

"Rrrr…" Zeke slumped against the wall, miserable. 

"It's not your fault either, Zeke." Fine whispered. 

"Well, I think Zeke may have helped Van." Dr. D suddenly popped into the room.

"Dr. D?" Fine looked up in surprise, and annoyance. The old man seemed to pop up everywhere nowadays. 

"Now then, where's the patient?" The good doctor picked up the status report and murmured things as he read it. 

"Well?" Thomas asked.

"Good news. Van's brain activity is in a state… like he's dreaming."

"But what does that mean?" Fine asked.

"Normally, that chemical puts people into comas, where their brain activity totally slows down, making it almost impossible to wake them up. However, Zeke fused with Van, and somehow managed to help Van's brain activity to increase." Dr. D nodded, impressed. "I'm not sure how he did it, but Zeke must have somehow connected with Van, and in a way, 'woken' him up… he may even be in control of the dream world he's in." 

"In total control?" Thomas muttered.

"Total control… his desires, his fears… they all might be a part of what he's in now. If only we could dream with that control…" Dr. D said. "However, if the dream state he's in is exactly what I'm hypothesizing, he may or may not wake up."

"But why?" Fine turned her gaze from the doctor to Van.

"Because… he may not want to wake up." 

_'Not want to wake up…'_ The phrase echoed in Irvine's mind. He stood behind the slightly opened door, hearing every word. Guilt filled him.

"Is there anyway we can reach him?" Moonbay asked.

"Well, if we could get Zeke to fuse with Van again, he might wake up, but the question is, will Zeke be able to communicate to Van that he's in a coma?" Dr. D mused.

"…" Fine remained silent. Zeke made a sickly sound. 

"If only we could get him to respond in some way…" 

_"Mmm…" Van groaned. His eyes were half-open, staring into Irvine's sleepy ones. It was morning, and Irvine's bed erection was rubbing affectionately against his upper thigh. _

"Morning beautiful… Damn, is it just me, or are you even more horny at this time of the day? The first thing too." Van laughed.

"Uhm… But you're the one who does it to me, baby." Irvine laughed. 

_'Crap.' _Irvine slumped back into his bed. He stared at the white ceiling, but the dull, featureless slab didn't register. All he could see was Van. 

"How are you?" Fine's gently knocked on the door. When the man didn't respond, she cracked the door open. "May I come in?"

Irvine nodded, but his eyes didn't leave the ceiling. Fine entered and sat on the stool near the bed. The room stayed silent, the only sounds audible was Irvine's breathing and the air conditioner's gentle hum. 

"Why Fine?" Irvine broke the silence.

"Pardon?" The girl snapped back, surprised.

"Why can't I seem to stop hurting him?" Irvine whispered. "Why can't I stop hurting Van?" 

"It's not your fault." Fine sighed, almost half-heartedly. She seemed to be saying that a lot lately. 

"It IS! Don't you see? The more I stay around Van, the more he gets hurt! Physically and emotionally." Tears started to form on the edges of the bounty hunter's eyes. "I tried to stop feeling the way I do, but I can't! And then… he… said it…"

__

'You're my most precious friend… I love you!' 

"Wait! Where are you going?" Fine jumped to her feet as Irvine turned and slid off the bed. 

"Away. Far away." Irvine replied as he tired his scarf around his head and reached for his clothes. 

"I can't let you do that!" Fine ran and blocked the door. "What about Van?"

"Van will wake up, and move on without me." Irvine said flatly. 

"That's not true!" the girl said firmly. "I know Van. He's not … he won't just forget his feelings for you! If you leave, that will cause unspeakable pain for him!" 

The man stopped and slowly slumped to the floor. 

"Tell me… Fine… What should I do?" 

_"Stop running! You'll get all dirty!" Van shouted as Zeke raced through the grass. Irvine began laughing as Van tackled the organoid, who squirmed free, causing Van to fall face first into a mud puddle. _

"Irvine! You could help!" the boy shouted.

"He's your organoid! He's your responsibility!" Irvine leaned back and gazed at the blue, cloudless sky.

"Yeah, well I love you too!"

"Mmn… it's ok Zeke." Fine soothed. Night had fallen, and pale beams of moonlight fell through the window onto Van's unmoving body. 

"I… I don't think this is such a good idea." Irvine whispered as Zeke growled at him menacingly. 

"Oh hush. Zeke, you too." The blonde Zoidian glared at the two. Zeke pouted and Irvine glanced guiltily at Van. 

"Please?" Irvine whispered. Zeke seemed to think it over before his chest plate opened and wires encircled Van and Irvine. The last thing Irvine saw was a bright white light that shrouded out Fine's worried face before... 

__

"Where in the world am I?"

****

Darkness

"Van?!" 

****

Silence

"Zeke? Fine? What's going on?"

****

Empty void

"What is this place? I feel cold."

****

Seclusion

"Am I … alone?" 

****

Fear

"Irvine!" 

=====================to be continued ====================== 

JC: I am SO sorry this chapter took so long to get out. School is just too much for me sometimes. (sighs) 

Fine: All right! Now that we're more or less back on track… (preview music) Next time… Irvine's been pulled into Van's dream. But does… I can't say it! 

Moonbay: Next time, 'You and I'. See you on the battlefield! 


End file.
